Lost in Bohemia - Part 5

Date Created: 06.08.2014

Apparently all foreign tourists staying at hotels must give the hotel their passport details and addresses and the hotel is then supposed to inform the local police station of all their details (Bear in mind this was pre EU days). We spoke to a policeman in the nearest town to us. He looked horrified at the thought of all the paperwork this would create and told us not to bother. Particularly, as I mentioned we had a group of 8 coming from England, 2 from Holland and 3 hunters from Germany.

As I did not have access to TV or newsletters, and had limited access to the internet, I started to lose track of time. I mentioned Robochef in my last blog. I think it was about this time that he started to work for us as a chef and barman. He was huge, with a shaved head and completely covered in tattoos right up to his fingertips. He spent a lot of time in the army and apparently was at one point seconded to the special services. He had a large number of rifles, pistols and a even rocket launcher in his house which I hoped was not in working order.

He was, however, an excellent cook and worked at an amazing speed for up to 24 hours at a time (hence the name Robochef). He certainly turned out to be a tourist attraction.

A group of 8 had booked to come over in May from the UK for a walking holiday and we had to prepare for their visit. The hotel was ready and so we needed to sort out the food. I had to collect Robochef from his house and go to the abattoir to get some prime cuts of beef in a town called Lubenec, about 40 minutes drive from here.

Robocef did not speak a word of English and so communication had to be in my bad Czech. Surprisingly we found the abattoir, it turned out that Milan knew everyone there (and the prison guards at the prison next door, which got me thinking) and we got a good discount. As we walked in Milan was handed a number of bullets and I saw a number of large meat hooks swinging from the ceiling. I briefly had a sinking feeling that this could have been my last day on Earth. As it happens Milan needed the bullets for killing his own livestock and the meat cuts were excellent.

One of the locals asked me if I would like traditional Czech cooked pig for the visitors from the UK. I was told that, as it was a tradition, it would be impolite to refuse such an offer.

I agreed the price and a pig was ordered. The pig arrived, weighing 140 kg and was still very much alive. I thought it was coming from the butchers' shop. I said "What am I supposed to do with that?". I was then handed a gun used in an abattoir and some cartridges. To cut a long story short, I delegated this to the professionals. If it was left to me, the pig would have moved in and lived to a ripe old age.

Just as the group arrived from the UK, the local water supply collapsed totally and we had to rely on the well under the hotel. So, all the hassle with the well turned out to be worth it. The new mains supply was not connected till the end of the summer.

Nevertheless, the group from the UK did not enjoy their time here. I think it was a frontier too far for them.

To be continued...

Chris is a UK expat from Formby near Liverpool, based permanently in the Czech Republic and married with two children. He is an independent financial adviser network Opes Fidelio- dealing predominately in pension transfer (fee based) advice and trusts for UK expats. He lives' near Karlovy Vary out in the country - a town famous for its film festival and the filming of Casino Royale.

See more at: http://worldofexpats.com/blogs/lost-bohemia

See more at: http://worldofexpats.com/blogs/lost-bohemia-part-2#sthash.uVctP8aK.dpuf

See more at: http://www.worldofexpats.com/blogs/lost-bohemia-part-3#sthash.grVT9XVo.dpuf

See more at: http://worldofexpats.com/blogs/lost-bohemia-part-4#sthash.VDcghVvq.dpuf

For more please visit his blog at http://christopherlean.weebly.com/